Restoring the Holidays: Tips to Keep Your Seasonal Spirit

Happy holidays? Not always! Statistics show that the holiday season can be harder on your relationships (romantic and familial) than any other time of the year.

It's not difficult to guess why that is so. Our society has created an ideal image of the perfect holidays. Because of it, we tend to do things we don’t normally do other times of the year: attend more gatherings, force ourselves to be around difficult people, spend too much money on extravagant yet unrealistic gifts, eat more food, and essentially drain ourselves physically and emotionally. We do all of this with the idea that we are meeting the expectations of the perfect holiday season. With all of our energies depleted, no wonder our relationships get jeopardized!

With that in mind, I’d like to share some tips to help you during the holiday season:

Breathe. Intentional breathing is something you can practice anytime, anywhere. Intentional breathing regulates the autonomic nervous system, so it can lower your blood pressure and calm negative feelings. There are a number of techniques, but a simple guide is to gently inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 5 seconds, then gradually exhale for 6 seconds.

Review and revise. With the holidays come a lot of family traditions. Traditions create expectations, and depending on your family’s traditions that might generate extra stress. There’s nothing wrong with breaking traditions; it might actually lead to new and more positive ones.

Choose wisely. Schedule quality time with those important people in your life – including time for yourself. Intentionally putting these moments on your calendar may keep you from overbooking your schedule with other less important events.

Unite. You and your partner come first! Communicate with each other as to what you want the holiday season to look like. Work together to stay on the same page. Make time for each other that doesn't involve the hustle and bustle of the holidays.

Pause before purchase. We love giving wonderful gifts to those we love, but we need to be realistic about what we can afford. Take some time to think about your budget and make a list, rather than buy gifts on impulse. Ignore the ads and reflect on what might be a thoughtful gift for your loved ones.

“No, thank you.” Remember the I Love Lucy episode where Lucy is frantically trying to grab all of the chocolates on the conveyor belt? I hate to tell you this, but you can’t catch all of the chocolates! It’s okay to say “no, thank you” to plans or invitations that would add to your stress. It allows you to say "yes, please!" to some moments of self-care.

This holiday season, I hope you find the perfect balance so that you have what really matters: peace, joy, and some quality time with those you love – including yourself.